Who messed up the Software ???
BROWN TROUSER FUDGE ON CHOPPERS
Gordon Brown today marked a new all time televised low in his Premiership as he appeared before House of Commons Select Committees and still refused to answer with a simple 'yes' or 'no' the questions relating to the number of soldier/ troop recruitment requests by the military  and the numbers they actually got [<700].
But what we got loud and clear was a clear message that money ie the Treasury is regulating the two wars we are hopelessly engaged in and that the squaddie or general in theatre can forget about any practical help or back up in the near future.
Come back in six years lads and we'll have the aircrew fully trained and plied with booze. The choppers might not be ready though as we chose a cheaper spec. than the Americansd so ours had to be made on a later production batch.
Even simple questions like how many operational Chinooks do we have in Affers [8-10] as the soldiers call it. The answer less than a tenth of the operational Chinooks, the Americans have to service and lift the same number of troops.
So lads when you next walk to your objective in the mind bending searing heat just think of Gordon Brown - on holiday now - trousers rolled up, by the Seaside with his family - simply Gordon does not understand the military, has no idea where the money goes or what it goes on.
The serial nail-chewing cyclops can't even drive a car for fu*ks sake! Never did learn to drive and as a junior producer at Scottish Televsion in his native Glasgow (just up the road from Gorbals Mick...) really didn't need too. Counting in Scotsport and hod carrier for the tarten encrusted Jock McSporran Show. Or in briowns case the White Feather Club, just full of gay dances, sorry dUnces, and broken promises.
But where do we go from here? Gordon has this devine right of sticking his head and genitalia in buckets of sand. Our Boys (as The Sun would have it) also have the devine right of sand, billions of tons of it, only it gets in everywhere.
Imagine the soldiers joy to be given large packs of unlubricated rubbers (Durex etc)but we are a bit short in the body armour locker.. but you have the Durex right? Army Orders 34598765-c might read @Take out an unlubricated rubber roll between thumb and first finger, place over the upright and fully reamed.... then the lights went out. No stop messing around, seriously the durex or rubbers are used to keep sand out of the AK47 barrel and they've been using them this way for years now....sigh.
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Julian Bray writes: The Royal Caribbean Cruise Ship Explorer of the Seas had it not craftily diverted to Malaga and Lisbon for two overnigh...
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