Who messed up the Software ???

Early Doors as Laws Quits UK Coalition Government


David Laws MP has thrown in the towel and resigned from the UK Coalition Government following newspaper reports over £40,000 being claimed by Mr Laws in expenses for renting rooms over several years from his partner, a director with the US owned political lobby firm Edelmans. Why he ever claimed in the first place when Mr Laws is independently wealthy will remain a mystery!   Former Press Officer Danny Alexander takes over the role vacated by Mr Laws at the Treasury,  

Contributor: Independent Media Expert Julian Bray http://tinyurl.com/pknlxn Broadcast quality dialup ISDN 0044(0)1733 555 319 G722 & APT-X DualCodec Glensound GSGC5 Landline: 01733 345581

Taxi & Early Doors for David Laws MP?

Early Doors for David Laws?

By Julian Bray Coalition Duckhouse UK Blog

They STILL don’t get it! Regular followers will notice that I’m returning the word ‘Duckhouse’ to the title as the astonishing breaking news of around £40,000 of taxpayers money fraudulently being used by one of the Lib Dems rising front bench stars, the Coalition Treasury Chief Mr David Laws MP to put a clandestine roof over the head, scented candles by the bed,  paying rent to his closet gay spin doctor lover who owned the various rooms. The gay long term lover James Lundie, is a high ranking director with the American owned Edelman firm of agressive spin doctors, a fact that seems to have escaped most of the media and how does that bode for the proposed register of rogerists (eh? Ed) sorry lobbyists?  

Really you just could not make this up, Mr David Laws Chief Secretary to the Treasury, says that his relationship with his male lover was as it were strictly under wraps, none of his (or the lovers family knew) of the love tryst (as the red tops will have it). Certainly the discredited Commons MP’s expenses system would have raised an eyebrow if Mr Laws had correctly declared what the taxpayer funded expenses were being used for. It's no use the pink and pinkish media claiming that I'm flaming gays, I'm not. Secretary to the Treasury David Laws MP can do what he likes and with whom he likes but not with my (ie the taxpayers) money and not playing fast and loose with my public office!  Laws says that it was a cheaper option, well so what? Keep it within the rules, we'll happily pay the extra, just as hard pressed benefit and disability claimants have to do.

The little ships 70 years on....

King George VI and Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother survey Bomb damage in wartime London.

Some 70 years ago, anything and everything that floats was sent from England to France to scoop up battle weary British and Allied troops from the machine gun raked and luftwaffe bombed bloody beaches of France and earlier today some 50 of the original little ships made a return trip to the shores of France.

Amazingly some 338,226 souls were rescued many thousands more, in fact some 60,000 more were left behind slaughtered by the Germans. It all happened some five years before I entered this world kicking and screaming, but when you ask some young people what they know about that horrific time few can even identify Winston Churchill, or even know what he did.

There have admittedly been a couple of hundred new wars since that time and many more lives lost. It would just be good if we all stopped for a few moments, had a good look round and consider was their sacrifice worth it or have we completely lost the plot? 

Coalition UK Cold Cuts Slice by Slice - Main Course to follow

Coalition Government Ministers will lose their cars!

Coalition UK Cold Cuts  Slice by Slice - Main Course to follow

Department of Transport - £683 million

Communities and Local Government - £780 million

Local Government DEL - £405 million

Business - £836 million

Home Office - £367 million

Department for Education - £670 million

Ministry of Justice £325 million

Law Officers Department - £18 million

Foreign Office - £55 million

Energy and Climate Change - £85 million

Environment, Food and Rural Affairs - £162 million

Culture, Media and Sport - £88 million

Department for Work and Pensions - £535 million

Chancellor's Departments - £451 million

Cabinet Office - £79 million

Devolved administrations - £704 million

Contributor: Independent Media Expert Julian Bray http://tinyurl.com/pknlxn Broadcast quality dialup ISDN2  0044(0)1733 555 319 G722 & APTX Dual Codec Glensound GSGC5 Landline: 01733 345581

Coalition deal appears to bury broadcast news pilots

Proposals to replace ITV regional news with a series of independently funded consortia appear to have been buried by the Government coalition agreement. There is no mention of the news consortia plan in the deal which suggests that the £130m of BBC licence fee allocated to funding it should instead be spent “if necessary” on funding superfast broadband.

Whatever happens ITV has said it plans to abandon public service broadcasting in the regions in the near future. The Lib-Con Government said today that it wants to “enable partnerships between local newspapers, radio and television stations to promote a strong and diverse local media industry”.

The coalition document says the Government will maintain the independence of the BBC but “give the National Audit Office full access to the BBC’s accounts to ensure transparency”. The coalition Government also promised today: “We will introduce measures to ensure the rapid roll-out of superfast broadband across the country.”

The regional news consortia were due to start this month following a lengthy bidding process with schemes set to get underway in Scotland, Wales and the Scottish Borders region of England.   As previously promised in the outline agreement, the coalition has said it will “will extend the scope of the Freedom of Information Act to provide greater transparency” and “review libel laws to protect freedom of speech”.

Source UK Press Gazette

British Airways strikes back on from Monday - Possibly!

UNITE, the trade union behind the British Airways Cabin Crew dispute has won its Appeal and had the legal injunction preventing strike action by its members overturned by a majority ie two Appeal Court Judges.

The Union says if there is strike action it will not happen before next Monday, the second of the already announced strike periods. Derek Simpson of Unite was speaking on the steps of the High Court in London. British Airways issed a terse statement calling the strike action 'pointless.'  

Contributor: Independent Media Expert Julian Bray http://tinyurl.com/pknlxn Broadcast quality dialup ISDN 0044(0)1733 555 319 G722 & APT-X DualCodec Glensound GSGC5 Landline: 01733 345581


Again I find myself holding off, looking for the chinks in the protective forcefield of this Coalition, but something has happened and a kind of enforced calm seems to have descended over the Westminster estate.

It could well be that as the Commons is now so stuffed with new MP's (many from the management consulting, lawyer and other chattering classes) the idea of sofa informal government has been kicked into touch.

It's also interesting to see the dress code has been adopted by the male members of the coalition, ties and suits not a single open neck shirt anywhere. The token female contingent has also fallen into line.  It seems to be catching the assembled hacks at the press conference this morning had also responded digging out the funeral suit and generally trying to keep up with the platform party.

You still have a couple of media scruffs in the audience and they know who they are as I've tried to get one to look in the Mirror and the broadcast teccy hack to see if IT can be improved on (couple of well heavy hints, in that lot).

At the outset they know there is little money to play with but opportunities to claw back or liberate money from cash-bleeding pet past ministerial projects remain to me tapped. I've helpfully given Mr Cameron a steer on where to start. The City might even chip in if UK sterling stabilises, as it is the Euro can be picked up cheaply thanks to moves by Germany to curb the financial barrow boys from 'naked short selling' and no doubt taxing y-fronts and knicker elastic too? 

Hitting the link above will take you to the Coalition Docment released this morning. Much of it is likely to inflame the Tory back benches and a couple of double barrelled worthies have already indiucated where the mace might in future lie. Just dont turn your back not even for a second. Good Advice, someone take it!  

Contributor: Independent Media Expert Julian Bray http://tinyurl.com/pknlxn Broadcast quality dialup ISDN 0044(0)1733 555 319 G722 & APT-X DualCodec Glensound GSGC5 Landline: 01733 345581

The Spectre of Sovereign Collapse Haunts Europe says Guido Fawkes

The Spectre of Sovereign Collapse Haunts Europe.. Picture shows the Goldman Sachs London Office (formerly the Daily Express Newspaper HQ in Fleet Street, London)

Guido Fawkes [www.order-order.com] highlights this chilling state of financial affairs in the Eurozone:

Most of the non-financial Dead Tree Press has been so focused on the election that they haven’t noticed that Europe’s financial markets are in meltdown, the euro is plunging and a spectre is haunting Europe — the spectre of sovereign collapse. All the powers of old Euro have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre:

The latest down-payment for the euro-project is a €14.5 billion bail-out of Greece propped up by Germany, France, Italy, Spain and six other EU countries. The German banking sector is thought to have a €34 billion exposure to Greece, panic has hit not just the euro, but the banks hitherto lauded by the likes of Will Hutton as paragons of financial rectitude so unlike the risk-taking City of London.

The German authorities are in panic and have banned short-selling in Allianz, Commerzbank, Deutsche Bank and Deutsche Postbank – the most blue chip of German banking pride – in a move which will surely see foreign investors sell their holdings it has already driven the euro to a four-year low overnight. The euro project is built to fail without a unified fiscal and tax regime, sooner or late, as eurosceptics have predicted from the outset, the euro will be torn apart. Euro politicians are now blaming speculators – a sure sign that they want to shoot the messenger – speculators are the harbingers of economic reality, not the creators. The euro is at a four-year low for good economic reasons, not because traders are shorting it.

England (UK) is spared this financial contagion as it stands in splendid isolation from the European Central Bank. Let us hear no more from europhiles on the laughable “stability” that joining the euro will bring. 

Courtesy Guido Fawkes - a blogger not for the weak and squeamish

Contributor: Independent Media Expert Julian Bray http://tinyurl.com/pknlxn Broadcast quality dialup ISDN 0044(0)1733 555 319 G722 & APT-X DualCodec Glensound GSGC5 Landline: 01733 345581

High Court strikes out libel case against publicist who sold story to Sunday Mirror

High Court strikes out libel case against publicist who sold story to Sunday Mirror

 By: Judith Townend  http://idek.net/1Xr4

A libel claim against a publicity agent who sold a story to the Sunday Mirror was struck out of the High Court on Monday.   Mr Justice Tugendhat struck out the claim in Hays plc v Hartley, a case in which the recruitment company pursued Jonathan Hartley for selling a discrimination claim story to the Sunday Mirror, published in 2009.

QE2: Homeward bound? THE LAST CHANCE SALOON...

The Queen Elizabeth 2, the Cunarder Cruise Ship built in the 1960's on Clydeside, Glasgow, Scotland is amongst an array of Dubai-owned assets including the Port of Dover (being sold to Calais!!!) which are being prepared for disposal as part of a huge fire-sale to get the spend happy Arab owners out of a huge financial black hole.

This unexpected turn of events is the UK's only chance to rescue the grand old lady and set her up as a unique conference, ballroom, theatre, hotel and mutiple restaurant and bar facility and all that needs to be done is to float her to a permanent berth alongside Tower Bridge in London. What do you think?

In a moment of madness Dubai World bought the QE2 from the American owners of Cunard three years ago (for around $100m), with grand plans to turn her into a luxury floating hotel. She would have been berthed at the man-made Palm Jumeirah island. But laden with staggering debts, the myriad of Arab interlocked companies were never really motivated enough to put the plans into action and briefly toyed with the idea of using the ship as an hotel in South Africa during the Football World Cup. That idea fell through as well.


BA wins UK High Court Injunction on a technical point which finds that the UNITE Union ballot was not properly conducted; with a letter being delivered with the result to each and every member, not just posted on websites. Possible Appeal. e&oe

Contributor: Independent Media Expert Julian Bray http://tinyurl.com/pknlxn Broadcast quality dialup ISDN 0044(0)1733 555 319 G722 & APT-X DualCodec Glensound GSGC5 Landline: 01733 345581

Speech by the Chancellor of the Exchequer, The Rt Hon George Osborne MP, on the OBR and spending announcements

`...the last coalition was in 1945

Speech by Chancellor of the Exchequer, the Rt Hon George Osborne MP, on the OBR and spending announcements

Good morning everyone, and on behalf of myself, David and Alan I want to welcome you all to the Treasury.

Can I take this opportunity to say how glad I am that I have someone of David’s intelligence and calibre to assist me in the work that we have to do. We are here to talk about the very first item on the first page of the coalition agreement.  As it says, “Deficit reduction and continuing to ensure economic recovery is the most urgent issue facing Britain.”

We understand that. And we need to get moving.  So today, less than a week after taking office, I want to explain some of the early arrangements for dealing with the fiscal crisis left by the last Government.

First, let me just tell you some of the stark facts.
Last year our budget deficit was the largest it has ever been in our peacetime history. This year it is set to be among the largest the world. According to the IMF and the European Commission, it will be the largest in the G7 and the largest in the European Union. This is the legacy of thirteen years of fiscal irresponsibility. And it poses a very real threat to the recovery. That it is why this new coalition is founded on an agreement to significantly accelerate the reduction in the deficit, starting this year.

This is not about party interests, it is about the national interest.

The advice that we have received from the Treasury and the Bank of England make that clear. Those who argue that action can be safely delayed for another eleven months would put our economy at risk for the sake of short term political advantage.


The Office of Budget Responsibility might like to consider the following:

Calling in all Government issued credit cards.
Regional Development Agencies (Abolish)
English Hertage - Nature (Cut budget by 60%)
Arts Council (Abolish)
BBC move to Salford ( stop)
BBC Licence Fee (abolish)
British Council ( totally abolish)
Nationalise Football ( abolish FA)
Olympics fresh audit (Cap budget)
BBC World Television ( Commercial not seen in UK. Trust me its dire! Takes ads) (abolish)
Transport - Nationalise British Airways, Train Companies & Airports
VAT on everything at 15%
Withdraw Troops from Afghanistan
All commercial leases rent increases to be limited to 1% of cost of living index and upward only rent reviews to be outlawed

Contributor: Independent Media Expert Julian Bray http://tinyurl.com/pknlxn Broadcast quality dialup ISDN 0044(0)1733 555 319 G722 & APT-X DualCodec Glensound GSGC5 Landline: 01733 345581

Iceland Volcanic Ash

Airfreighted fruit, flowers and vegetables also hit bu the ash clouds

Independent Media Expert Julian Bray comments: UK and European Insurance companies are threatening to withdraw travel cover from individual passengers as their corporate underwriters are questioning the validity of aviation insurance arrangements and the validity of what some operators call an over cautious computer projection issued by the Met Office, the people who promised a 'barbeque summer' last year only to find the whole summer was a washout. 

The insurance companies are claiming that when the contracts were originally negotiated there was no peril asssociated with repeated volcanic ash storms and subsequent disruption to flight schedules. The European Community edict that airlines must pick up travellers hotel expenses for delayed or cancelled flights is also a major factor as the cost is passed back to the insurance underwriters.

Many smaller airlines are thought to be near to breaking banking mandates and others will certainly cease to trade 'within months'.

Use of smaller 'skyvan' type aircraft may be one solution for domestic flights as they fly at a lower altitude and may be able to fly underneath the ash clouds whch seem to settle at around 35,000 ft the normal cruising height of conventional passenger jet aircraft.

The problem is the volcanic silica based ash when sucked in by a jet engine literally turns into shards of glass, coats the jet fan blades, causing them to stop without warning. The air disruption is also having a knock-on effect with cruise passengers missing ship pick-ups and air freighted fruit and vegetables being delayed and rotting in warehouses. Just-in-time manufacturing such as the car industry has also been badly hit.  

Contributor: Independent Media Expert Julian Bray http://tinyurl.com/pknlxn Broadcast quality dialup ISDN 0044(0)1733 555 319 G722 & APT-X DualCodec Glensound GSGC5 Landline: 01733 345581

Coalition Govt UK - Who Gets What.... Latest Appointments

The Prime Ministers wife Samantha proving that coalition hairdressing -
several styles thrown together simply does not work!

Culled from several sources, the line up of Coalition Government UK so far. Delighted to see Baroness Wilcox (self styled 'Margaret Thatcher of the fish quays of Plymouth') one time squeeze of the late Dai Llewellan - is assisting the Business community. The Baroness thoughtfully provides gentlemen callers with their own dedicated dark wood panelled bathroom facilities at her majestic Kensington apartment. Good for late night s*ittings....boom boom..

Back to business: Here is confirmation from official sources of the latest junior ministerial appointments:


Minister of State - The Rt Hon Lord Howell*

Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - Henry Bellingham MP
Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - Alistair Burt MP


Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - Crispin Blunt MP
Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - Jonathan Djanogly MP


Parliamentary Under Secretary of State (Minister for Equalities) - Lynne Featherstone MP


Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - Gerald Howarth MP
Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - Andrew Robathan MP


Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - Edward Davey MP
Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - John Penrose MP (jointly with the Department for Culture, Olympics, Media and Sports)
Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - Baroness Wilcox


Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - Maria Miller MP
Parliamentary Under Secretary of State (Minister for Welfare Reform) - Lord Freud*


Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - Anne Milton MP
Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - Earl Howe


Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - Tim Loughton MP


Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - Andrew Stunell OBE MP
Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - Bob Neill MP
Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - Baroness Hanham CBE


Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - Norman Baker MP
Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - Mike Penning MP


Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - Richard Benyon MP
Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - Lord Henley


Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - Stephen O'Brien MP


Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - David Mundell MP


Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - David Jones MP


Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - John Penrose MP (jointly with the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills)
Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - Hugh Robertson MP
Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - The Hon Ed Vaizey MP


Parliamentary Secretary (Deputy Leader) - David Heath CBE MP*


Parliamentary Secretary - Mark Harper MP
Parliamentary Secretary - Nick Hurd MP


Advocate General for Scotland - The Rt Hon Lord Wallace of Tankerness


Deputy Chief Whip (Treasurer of HM Household) - John Randall MP
Deputy Chief Whip (Comptroller of HM Household) - Alistair Carmichael MP
Government Whip (Vice Chamberlain of HM Household) - Mark Francois MP


Lords Chief Whip (Captain of the Honourable Corps of Gentlemen at Arms) - The Rt Hon Baroness Anelay of St Johns DBE
Deputy Chief Whip (Captain of The Queen's Bodyguard of the Yeomen of the Guard) - Lord Shutt of Greetland OBE

* unpaid

Taken from the FT Westminster Blog:


Minister of State – David Lidington MP
Minister of State – Jeremy Browne MP


Financial Secretary – Mark Hoban MP
Economic Secretary – Justine Greening MP
Exchequer Secretary – David Gauke MP


Minister of State – The Rt Hon Lord McNally
Minister of State – Nick Herbert MP (jointly with the Home Office)


Minister of State (Minister for Security) – Baroness Neville-Jones

Minister of State (Minister for Immigration) – Damian Green MP
Minister of State (Minister for Police) – Nick Herbert MP (jointly with the Ministry of Justice)


Minister of State (Minister for the Armed Forces) – Nick Harvey MP


Minister of State (Minister for Universities and Science) – David Willetts MP**
Minister of State – Mark Prisk MP
Minister of State – John Hayes MP


Minister of State – Chris Grayling MP
Minister of State – Steve Webb MP


Minister of State – Charles Hendry MP
Minister of State – Gregory Barker MP


Minister of State – Paul Burstow MP
Minister of State – Simon Burns MP


Minister of State – Sarah Teather MP
Minister of State – Nick Gibb MP


Minister of State – Greg Clark MP
Minister of State – Grant Shapps MP


Minister of State – Theresa Villiers MP


Minister of State – James Paice MP


Minister of State – Alan Duncan MP


Minister of State – Hugo Swire MP


Solicitor General - Edward Garnier QC MP


Lords Chief Whip (Captain of the Honourable Corps of Gentlemen at Arms) – The Rt Hon Baroness Anelay of St Johns DBE


Contributor: Independent Media Expert: Julian Bray http://tinyurl.com/pknlxn Broadcasters ISDN 0044(0)1733 555 319 G722 & APT-X (3D2) Dual Codec Landline: 01733 345581

It's been a Hard Day's Night walking Cleggys Yellow Brick Road..

David Cameron, Prime Minister and his wife Samantha enters No10

It's been a Hard Day's Night walking Cleggys Yellow Brick Road..

Well its been a long day turning into night and still the political news is coming out and we are promised by Nick Clegg a comprehensive policy document covering all areas the new Government will try to address. This is the first time that something like this has been attempted.

 A parliament with a  fixed term of 5 years, but the Libdems have only promised four years of support to the Consertvatives in an attempt to give the new coalition a chance of clearing the huge debt left behind by Gordon Brown and his cronies.

It's good of the politicians to pay tributes to Gordon Brown but in reality the world is harsh. Brown was given the full motorcycle outrider presidential style motorcade to Buckingham Palace for an audience OF The Queen (never with) but having told the Queen that he was resigning, the return journey to Downing Street was completely different, no motorcycles Mr Brown had to face London traffic just like all London mortals.

Only history will know if Brown was right or wrong but with over 200 newbie MP's eagerly taking their seats and many of the old guard put out to pasture, the mix in the House of Commons - the main debating chamber was going to be different anyway. The Opposition now is effectively just the leaderless Labour party, plus a few oddball Mp's and Nationalists.

Who knows who will have the last laugh? Did Brown accidently call it right with his Government of all the talents? But obviously not this way!

Did the voters, those who were allowed to vote get it right and force a hung government onto the politicians? A week is a long time in politics, heavern help us all, if the weeks' over the next five years are anything like this once. Hold on it's going to be a rough old ride! But one thing is for certain,. there is no going back and old style isn't going to work... will anyone be working at all?

Contributor: Julian Bray http://tinyurl.com/pknlxn Broadcasters ISDN 0044(0)1733 555 319 G722 & APT-X (3D2) Dual Codec Landline: 01733 345581

USA President Obama telephones Prime Minister David Cameron [English corrected in line with Coalition values - to be announced]

Statement by USA President Obama following his telephone call to Prime Minister David Cameron of the United Kingdom [English corrected in line with coalition values - to be announced] 

Today, I was pleased to call David Cameron to extend my personal congratulations for the successful campaign that he ran [err he didn't win enough to form a Government but nice start Pres,!] and for becoming the new British Prime Minister. As I told the Prime Minister, the United States has no closer friend and ally than the United Kingdom, and I reiterated my deep and personal commitment to the special relationship between our two countries – a bond that has endured for generations and across party lines, [ handy that seeing as it's a C O AL I T I ON ! ] and that is essential to the security and prosperity of our two countries, and the world. I look forward to meeting with the Prime Minister at the G8/G20 meetings in June, and Michelle and I invited Prime Minister Cameron and his wife Samantha to visit Washington this summer.

I also send my best wishes to Gordon Brown, and thank him for his friendship and his distinguished service as Prime Minister. He provided strong leadership during challenging times, and I have been grateful for his partnership. This historic election has been closely followed by the American people,[oh bum! Thought we'd got away with this, denied voting, bigoted woman an all!] and I have no doubt that the ties between our two countries will continue to thrive in the years to come.

Thanks to Greta Van Susteren  Anchor Fox News Channel

Contributor: Julian Bray http://tinyurl.com/pknlxn Broadcasters ISDN 0044(0)1733 555 319 G722 & APT-X (3D2) Dual Codec Landline: 01733 345581

New Full Coalition Government Born...

A new turbulent dawn for the UK

David Cameron had an audience of Her Majesty the Queen at Buckingham Palace in London, England and has accepted her invitation to form a new Government.

On return to 10 Downing Street, Prime Minister David Cameron addressed the media and working without notes, just a microphone on a stand (the previous lecturn pointedly having been removed); Prime Minister David Cameron said he would be forming a true coalition government in full joint partnership with the Liberal Democats led by Nick Clegg.

Contributor: Julian Bray http://tinyurl.com/pknlxn Broadcasters ISDN 0044(0)1733 555 319 G722 & APT-X (3D2) Dual Codec Landline: 01733 345581

Conservatives and Lib Dems Agree Way Forward...BROWN QUIITS!

Julian Bray has held off until now! So what is the Duckhouse Political Blog view on a Hung Parliament? Libdems and Labour. Will work in the short term but factional in-fighting will see divisions forming fairly swiftly. The first no-confidence motion will see the country going through another General Election under the FPTP first past the post system, as labours’ offer to introduce AV will fail as back benchers mindful that a repeat general election may only be a few months way will ensure that personal standing is maintained even at the expense of ignoring the party whip. This arrangement will also rely upon small parties and nationalists, as they will still not have enough in terms of seats to defeat the Conservatives. Nice try Gordon but won’t work,

Conservatives and Libdems Forget the numbers of votes cast under the FPTP system, it is imperfect but we’ve lived with it for decades, certainly ther libdems under AV or prpoportional Voting would have gained more seats BUT that is not the lawful system of voting in the Uk and uis unlikely to bge so for a long time to come. Most votes have in any case, been cast to get the favoured local MP either back into power ( or a new candidate) into power to represent constituents, not the national party although in effect the latter is the rule. Clearly only a passing thought is given to the National party. Some 45 million voters out there but only some 7 million watched the TV debates.
Conservative Minority Government Not so silly as it seems and could well be viable. Tories under David Cameron takes power announces intention to form minority government or in default advises that another general election should be called. Tories then declare any Gordon Brown the parliament of losers unconstitutional, embark on a programme of procedural delaying tactics. Points of order on each and every piece of government business forcing divisions, demanding Judicial reviews and formal recounts of all MP’s who have a majority of less than 10,000.

The way forward. As much as Mr Clegg would like to go with Labour the prospect of playing second fiddle to Gordon Brown or an unelected interim Prime Minister will not go down with LibDem activists (it will take some time until a new Labour leader is sworn in and probably not before the labour party conference in the Autumn).

Outcome: Clegg will fall in with the Tories under pressure from his parliamentary party, the main opposition to the shotgun marriage being Vince Cable who pointedly has kept a very low profile. Gordon Brown will QUIT and physically move out of 10 Downing Street later today (Tuesday)

Contributor: Julian Bray http://tinyurl.com/pknlxn Broadcasters ISDN 0044(0)1733 555 319 G722 & APT-X (3D2) Dual Codec Landline: 01733 345581

America & BP Try This! Oil Spill Urgent Solution Offered.

Eureka! Maybe a daft idea but so was the invention of the pizza! Sitting in the garden staring at an empty canvas garden refuse pop up bin and an extending  cat play tunnel whilst nursing a large gin and topic. The mental lamp bulb exploded.

A true Eureka moment!  Also must admit feeling somewat guilty the bin remained empty of garden refuse, my justification is that I might have just saved the plight of the USA shrimp industry and that of countless USA ecology systems and even partially restored British Petroleums tattered oil splattered image.  

So hear me out and try to stay with the core concept right through to the end then feel free to copy this to wherever it might be of use and become a reality!

The BP Oil Spill problem can be resolved with basic schoolboy science...anyone who has tried to attach a garden hose to a tap when the water is running will tell you it's impossible but in reality that is what BP has been trying to do over the last few weeks. Taking a traditional heavy engineering view when a much lighter touch or construction is called for.  

To contain or divert the oil flow is just so simple provided that NO top pressure is exerted and I offer this to BP if they will make a substantial contribution to a charity of my choice and some pocket money for me ! 

BP are trying to place a small but heavy rigid metal covered box over the leaking pipe. WRONG!  What they should be trying in my humble opinion is to place a collapsed much larger circular base rim (ie no bottom) on the sea bed, say ten-fifteen times the diameter of the metal box construction, and much easier to position! 

Once that is in place, attached the base rim  is (ie retrofitted) to a series of flexible circular curtain wall sections, which simply rise upwards on guide chains or wires. The upper section of each curtain wall being partially inflated, the circular curtain wall attached in the manner of a window roman blind... now still with me?

Imagine one of those circular spring loaded canvas garden rubbish bins. When it arrives it's in the collapsed position held in place with velcro straps, release the straps and the bin springs up and open.

Outside of this spring section are further sections slightly conical which rise but remain overlapped, held in plasce by external guide wires.   Oil will naturally rise to the surface of water  so further overlapping curtain wall sections can be attached until the tube reaches the surface and the crude oil and carbons can be pumped out of the bund so created.

The upward journey of the crude oil will also suck in clean sea water through each overlapping curtain section creating a slight vacuum and speeding the route of the oil flow upwards inside the sectioned tunnel.

Another illustration, imagine the conical rubbish chutes used on building sites to decant rubbish from several floors up, they look like a series of inverted nesting dustbins with the bases removed . Extended this forms a tunnel to shoot the rubbish downwards. For our oil spill exercise the process and nesting would be reversed. 

As the guidewires for the rising circular curtain wall sections are not loadbearing, just an upward guidepath, the wires at the top would be attached on a drum each to a floating crane barge held in position by a geopositioning  system. The final advantage is that it would be quick and easy to fabricate, being light even easier to position.   The bigger the base rim to start with the greater the containment.

What it won't do is stop the spill but if it is contained and pumped off until such time that the new drilling is completed in three months, the problem is solved and the kit can be used over and over again. Go to it!

Julian Bray, London England

Contributor: Julian Bray http://tinyurl.com/pknlxn Broadcasters ISDN 0044(0)1733 555 319 G722 & APT-X (3D2) Dual Codec Landline: 01733 345581

Interviews from Hell. Remembering the prime minister's name -by Jonathan Dimbleby

Interviewing for Radio
Interviews from Hell
Remembering the prime minister's name -
by Jonathan Dimbleby

The most alarming thing that can happen when your doing an interview, apart from the terrible, terrible thing that does occasionally happen is you're forgetting who it is you're interviewing. I even write down the Prime Ministers name on the piece of paper so I remember, because I have a very bad memory for names. But apart from that it's not remembering what someone has just said to you. It's agony and it can happen quite easily if you're thinking about how much time is left on the film or whether you've got the right points in or something and you forget what you've just been told. You're then lost because if you reveal you don't know what's been said you've spoilt the whole interview because they say he obviously wasn't listening to what I said a moment ago.

And the third thing is, which I have only done once, is falling asleep in the middle of an interview, it was very late at night on a current affairs programme and I'd had a long day and the person I was interviewing was being extremely boring. It was a bout quarter to midnight and only just momentarily I thought what, oh yes. Hmm, women's rights.

Why is Darling This Weekend Signing Us Up For More Eurodebt?

Even Bob Hope would have been speechless..

Getting slightly concerned Darling is about to sign us all up to support a multi billion loan and it will all be set in stone before the cammy/clegg partnership can be resolved.

Can we not rush through an interim agreement? Recall Darling before he does anything we all will regret for years to come...

I've been broadcasting to a syndicate of 7,000 US Radio Stations (that is just ONE group) and they have pushed our Gerneral Election so far down the news agenda that it is no longer carried on the main or regional bulletins. It comes up as a funny 'and finally....' something wrong here.

So someone take this on board and hope the bankers don't screw us all on Monday Morning ...time is running out.

It really is no longer funny but no one seems to understand the gravity (apart from Dale, Guido and Co) of our national debt. No wonder Harrods was sold off earlier today...not stupid that Egyptian - or honest!

Contributor: Julian Bray http://tinyurl.com/pknlxn Broadcasters ISDN 0044(0)1733 555 319 G722 & APT-X (3D2) Dual Codec Landline: 01733 345581

We've been here before ....


This link if you are quick (as it is likely to be blocked) takes you to a recently  declassified document relating to the demise of Prime Minister Edward Heath, provides a clear blueprint for todays events. Hung Parliament and all.

Contributor: Julian Bray http://tinyurl.com/pknlxn Broadcasters ISDN 0044(0)1733 555 319 G722 & APT-X (3D2) Dual Codec Landline: 01733 345581

Pollyvillas powerbase melts away..

"They ran out of Bananas!"

Interesting watching Polly ‘twa villas’ Toynbee [aka Pollyvillas] trying to justify the Labour position (simple: Just Go Bro!) and secretly thinking that her hack powerbase lies in tatters.

Afghanistan War Can End Tomorrow for £750 a Head.

It seems that if you are denied voting as many thousand properly registered UK citizens were, they are entitled to £750 in compensation. So if this is all that UK Citizens can expect, we could compensate individual Afghanistanis with £750 and remove our troops. Simples!

On the home front, clearly the former owner of Harrods knows where this is all going as he's (ok his Family Trust) sold Harrods ( the shop, not the building that was sold years ago) to the cash rich Arabs. A large brown envelope containing £1.5 Billion has been mentioned..... Female members of staff will now be wearing a Harrods monogrammed burka...

Contributor: Julian Bray http://tinyurl.com/pknlxn Broadcasters ISDN 0044(0)1733 555 319 G722 & APT-X (3D2) Dual Codec  Landline: 01733 345581

Highway robbery on the quiet. Government taken up to £80,000 out of your wallet?

Highway robbery on the quiet

1 May 2010 Corporate Adviser

The public would be outraged by the changes to state pension if only they knew what it was costing them, says Teresa Hunter

What would the ordinary man in the street say if you walked up to him and told him that the Government had just taken up to £80,000 out of his wallet?

No, that’s not part of the party political broadcasts currently being shouted from the roof tops. Indeed I bet scarcely anyone hit by the change to their pension has a clue what is happening.

Worse still. I wonder how many advisers are up to speed with the full implications of all the latest reforms to the state pension, which came into force last month. Indeed, how many could put hand on heart and be confident of accurately calculating someone’s full state pension entitlement? Pretty few, I’d guess. Well, they had better wake up fast, because many of their clients’ state pension expectations have just sustained a hammer blow, with the phased removal of any salary-linking. Anyone engaged in planning or advising individuals or companies on pension matters should recommend every employee now requests a state pension forecast as a matter of urgency.

Then they can alert their clients to the need to contribute more. Will it happen? It might, when the sun rises in the west, as the Chinese say.

So what are these changes? The first raft, and better publicised changes hit women. The age at which they will get a state pension will rise from 60 to 65 by 2020. However, another change will make it easier for them to receive a full basic state pension, when they finally qualify for one.

Anyone can now qualify for a basic state pension after making national insurance contributions for 30 years, rather than the 39 for a woman and 44 for a man, previously required.

It’s anyone’s guess whether women will be better or worse off. Some will be and some won’t, but crucially, they will either have to work longer or save more to replace the lost state pension.

Having something taken away that you didn’t know you were going to get doesn’t seem that big a deal. But it is highway robbery nevertheless

Also worth pointing out is that raising women’s pension age to 65 saved the Government considerably more than improving the terms on which it was finally paid. Overall then, women lost out, which implies a gap to be filled.  The other big gap though resulted from almost unknown changes to the second state pension, formerly called Serps (the State Earnings Related Pension), and now renamed as S2P. This could cost some employees the loss of £3,000 in retirement, which will cost £80,000 to replace out of their own pockets.

It would seem that the Government’s ultimate aim is to do away with it completely. Any link to earnings is being phased out so that we all get the same, with the longer-term intention presumably of merging S2P with the basic pension to provide a flat payment for all.

nitially, these changes only affect pension arrangements which are contracted into the state scheme, which these days most are. However, from 2012, all pensions will be required to be contracted back in with a few exceptions. Final salary schemes have been exempted from the new arrangements.

The change is significant, as the S2P, was worth up to £140 per week on top of the basic state pension for anyone earning about £40,000. The plan is that it should be capped at £80 per week, but paid at that level to all. This is being achieved in a series of steps. Last year the Government introduced a cap of £40,040 on eligible earnings. Last month, a new ceiling of £31,800 was introduced, penalising anyone earning above this level.

People do not know what they will get from the state at retirement, and find the calculations impossible. Having something taken away that you didn’t know you were going to get doesn’t seem that big a deal. But it is highway robbery nevertheless, and advisers need to get their act together, and work out how they are going to get the message across. The best place to start is by ordering those pensions forecasts immediately.

Only when state pension entitlement is taken seriously will the public fight to protect it.


The Genie is really out of the bottle


 So it's official, we now have a HUNG Parliament. Gordon Brown stays in Number 10 until HE (AND HE ALONE) is satisfied that he will not be able to form an arrangement with another Party.

If Gordon Brown decided that he cannot work or reach agreement with the Cleggies, Taffies,Jocks or the Eaton Mess,  then he can go to the Queen and then we start the process all over again! In addition expect some legal challenges over the Polling Station lock outs.

All in all an amazing Horlicks and don't pull the duvet over your head as the markets were opened for the first time at 1AM this morning to either buy up Government Bonds or sell ("dump") them.

Guess what its all downwards! If you are an exporter to the USA or just going on holiday - better get your holidays dollars in now as exchange rates are also drifting downwards . All in all a prize Horlicks. But if you scroll down I warned you all about this yesterday AND THE NEED TO VOTE EARLY! 

As if that is not enough, we've a house full of newbie inexperienced MPs' and David Cameron effectively stopped in his tracks, the situation could not be worse, all that we can hope fore is that Sarah Brown tries to talk some sense into Gordon and suggest that on medical grounds he takes it a bit easier and opts for early retirement. The man will drop dead in harness and frankly no hung parlaiment is ever worth that.... as for the rest of us, we can go hang....

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The Nation Could Still Be Stuck With Gordon Brown...

Unless David Cameron is given by you the voter, a clear working majority, the Nation will still be stuck with Gordon Brown for another five years. There is no such animal as a tactical vote, much as the LibDems would have you believe.  You are either for Cameron and the Conservatives or against.

Julian Bray Editor of the Duckhouse Blog urges you to vote early and cast your precious vote for the Conservatives under the leadership of David Cameron.

A hung Parliament will simply mean that little gets done without lots of horse trading and compromise. That will be good for individual MP's and their pet projects but bad for you the voter.

If you need any further convincing, SCROLL THROUGH THIS BLOG, just remember the look on Sarah Browns' face as she was forced to listen to Gordon Browns' increasingly strange rants towards the end of the campaign. Give the woman a break and help Gordon towards retirement, academia and to finally seek the medical assistance he certainly needs. 

Contributor: Julian Bray http://tinyurl.com/pknlxn Broadcasters ISDN 0044(0)1733 555 319 G722 & APT-X (3D2) Dual Codec Landline: 01733 345581

Volcanic Ash Threatening to Close Down IRISH Airports

Breaking news report on UK Sky TV news at 6pm Monday 3 May says that volcanic ash was threatening to close down IRISH Airports... the ash cloud has apparently changed direction and the UK has been experiencing very strong winds. Travellers advised to check details of travel insurance with underwriters ie not the sales people!!! UPDATE: Authorities now saying that Tuesday May 4th very likely to be affected!


Contributor: Julian Bray http://tinyurl.com/pknlxn Broadcasters ISDN 0044(0)1733 555 319 G722 & APT-X (3D2) Dual Codec Landline: 01733 345581

Point of No Return…Beware of Greeks paying taxes!

Point of No Return…

Duckhouse Editor Julian Bray comments:

It seems cruel to predict the outcome of the General Election but the future for all of us (bankers and speculators excepted) isn’t looking good.

Massive cost reductions, in every sector of public service needs to be made; at the same time beleaguered manufacturing industry needs a shot in the arm.

Well, I have an idea and as you know by now, some of these suggestions are not only off the wall but require a sea change in conventional wisdom. My good friend Derek Grant - Rock Journalist turned foreign correspondent - now retired to Spain but fully up to speed with East Anglian news and politics (his Sky satellite TV profile was set up at his last known UK address!) tells me that he pays around 80p per litre for Petrol (Gasoline) whereas we in the UK pay around £1.25 per litre and Diesel (gasoil) even more!

My suggestion is for a cut in petrol duty to bring the UK in line with Spain and mainland Europe. This will impact on all trades and all sectors of manufacturing industry as every process, product or function requires an element of transport. It also ensures that we are on a even footing with mainland Europe and that transport operators will fill up this side of the channel rather than in France. It really is a no brainer and very easy to bring into operation.

It won’t happen of course anymore than including the cost of road tax in an annual car insurance policy ie no car tax disc no insurance and the insurance company collects the car tax at the time of insurance renewal – that’s a few thousand jobs I’ve cut at the DVLA which in Duckhouseland would vanish overnight, along with many other cash guzzling serially useless Quangos.

But back to the General Election, politicians already know the die is pretty well cast and for postal voters, many will have already voted except for one lady, Gillian Duffy unfairly branded ‘that woman’ and a ‘bigot’; by Gordon Brown. Brown effectively at that moment handed the election result to anyone else but him. His wife Sarah knows it and has had a face like a slapped fish ever since.

Do the voters really know (or even care) that the majority of elected MP’s making up the next Parliament will be newbies? This makes a nonsense of Gordon Browns’ claim that he has an experienced team in place to fight the battles of the future. Most of them will have taken their generous resettlement pay offs, sold off the flipped second home – maintained by the taxpayer – and ‘trousered’ the proceeds.

So let the games commence and by Friday, the victor the spoils, the largest poisoned chalice Gordon Brown could leave behind, unless of course by some miracle Gillian Duffy relents and urges The Daily Mail leadership to vote for Gordon… even Elvis would leave the building and more improbable, Greeks would begin paying taxes if that ever happened.

Contributor: Julian Bray http://tinyurl.com/pknlxn Broadcasters ISDN 0044(0)1733 555 319 G722 & APT-X (3D2) Dual Codec Landline: 01733 345581



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